What Am I Saying?
I repeat.
What am I saying?
I just got through asking John Kerry NOT to seek the White House in 2008. I must be running on fumes myself, today, because a Kerry run would only help show a fair number of American voters the time had come to MAKE SOME NOISE!
You know, Third Party, Meerkat (no other entries so far… man, think of the prizes!!), political revolutionary NOISE!
I’ve got a brainstorm!
Okay, it’s really more of a shower, but why don’t we take all the various “names” being tosses around as Republican and Democratic 2008 presidential hopefuls, and put them all in a “time capsule.”
Remember how much fun that used to be?
Time capsules were all the rage once upon a time. Kids and adults across this great land actively buried airtight containers of all shapes and sizes. Tucked away safely inside (so everyone hoped) were various emblematic keepsakes, including coins, comic books, photographs, transistor radios, high school yearbooks, records (the LP and 45 variety), postcards, you know, important stuff. There were serious items, too, proclamations and documents, classical sheet music, “greetings” in 200 languages.
The whole idea was that someday, way off in the future (even hiding under our desks we maintained great hope for tomorrow), someone would unearth and crack open these historical “snapshots,” and better understand who we were, how we lived, and why we did what we did.
The assumption we all made was that people in the future would finally figure out how to get along together. Inventions would create a simpler, saner life for the earth’s inhabitants, and it might be enjoyable for these advanced, peaceful folks, to appreciate just how far they’d come in 100 years or so.
The one I remember best is now buried beneath a corner service station, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to stay there in perpetuity, along with the underground gas tanks.
A good number of them have been unearthed prematurely due to road and/or building construction, and I understand at least a few have been “misplaced” over the years.
Wait, I’ve got another brainstorm. I’m talking cats, dogs, pigs and cows here!
Instead of just putting the NAMES of these modern politicians in the time capsule, let’s actually put in the people themeselves.
Oh, c’mon, we can do it! Nobody’s using NORAD anymore!
And it’s not like they’ll be hard to capture, or anything. We’ll hang out at whatever fundraiser they’re attending, buttonhole them, wave a blank check before their eyes, and they’ll follow us all the way to Cheyenne Mountain!
They’ll be okay. Really.
They’ll have plenty of food, water, exercise, really neat toys to play with. Today’s leading politicians will have everything they need to lead full, productive lives. Of course, we’ll make it so only inbound communications work, though. Wouldn’t want to keep hearing from them after going to all that trouble shutting them up.
Who knows, maybe years from now, some advanced, peaceful folks will come along and crack open that NORAD time capsule, to discover today’s political heavyweights actually had something worthwhile to say.
In the meantime, I’ll be right here as always, hiding under my desk.
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