Statecraft Informer

Thanksgiving, 2006, has come and gone. Whether there remain any leftovers at your place is a matter of speculation and chance. That some remnants of the great feast survive in our nation’s capitol is not open to question; there is no doubt Washington continues to serve as a veritable cornucopia of stuffing and turkeys.

While pundits like to reference their existence as political “pork,” it would be more accurate to call “special interest earmarks” what they really are: stuffing.

According to the C-SPAN Congressional Glossary, the term, “Pork barrel” came into use as a political term in the post-Civil War era. It comes from the plantation practice of distributing rations of salt pork to slaves from wooden barrels. When used to describe a bill, it implies the legislation is loaded with special projects for Members of Congress to distribute to their constituents back home as an act of largesse, courtesy of the federal taxpayer.

The suggestion here is we citizens are slave to our elected officials. While I’m sure some voters actually are (psychologically speaking, of course), most of us still believe politicians are employed by us, not vice-versa. I suggest, therefore, to substitute the word, “stuffing,” for all future pork references, if only for the sake of accuracy.

Thanksgiving-style stuffing, with rare exception, has one central component: bread. Oh, sure, every recipe includes any number of spices, shortening, broth, etc. (often adding nuts!), but as with legislative earmarks, the main ingredient is bread.

And for anyone still deluded enough to think the recent elections were going to change much of anything in that vortex of corruptive, insulated power called Washington, D.C., I turn your attention to the ongoing preparations for the new regime change. No, not the Iraqi version (that would require a different analogy entirely), but the Republican to Democrat variety.

There are prime examples all the way up and down the old and new orders, but I hold two true old-timers as modern icons of political stuffing. This year alone, 83-year old Senator Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, and 82-year old Senator Daniel Inouye, D-Hawaii, combined for to insert nearly 2 billion dollars worth of pet projects into major spending bills.

Since incoming Speaker of the House, Representative Nancy Pelosi, D-Ca, and her colleagues have been railing against the wasteful practice of “special interest earmarks” being inserted into bills “in the dark of night,” you’d think the jig was finally up in Washington. C’mon, would you really think that?

The sad fact is this: There is an unwritten agreement within both houses of Congress that “stuffing” will continue, for all intents and purposes, forever. The party in power will be entitled to 60% of all earmarks, and the minority party will divvy up the rest. With the public largely ignorant by choice or habit, and now that the contentious elections have passed, none of the new leaders is any longer giving lip service to reforming the “honored” practice.

So on behalf of everyone who voted for either Republicans or Democrats on November 7th, I say, congratulations, and pass the stuffing!

And speaking of turkeys!

Can you imagine a bigger Thanksgiving turkey this year than the aforementioned Rep. Nancy Pelosi?

For months she ranted and raved about the horribly corrupt Republican leadership in the White House and Legislature, frequently claiming as the new Democratic leader she would “drain the swamp” in Washington.

Yes, Ms. Pelosi was about anything but politics as usual. She was a new broom intent on sweeping away the stench of corruption. She was tough, and tough-minded. So how has she begun her swamp-draining, keeping in mind it’s still more than a month before she actually assumes the leadership mantle?

To begin, she didn’t like the obvious choice for House Majority Leader, Rep. Steny Hoyer, D-Md, so she threw all her newly-won power behind Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa. Although an outspoken critic of President Bush and his Iraq policies, Mr. Murtha has been hobbled by scandals and controversy, and lost in a landslide. The swamp, though not nearly drained, was saved from increased murkiness, no thanks to the new leader.

Next on the agenda for Ms. Pelosi is the House Intelligence Committee chair. Rep. Jane Harmon, D-Ca, is in line to serve, Ms. Pelosi wants Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Fla, to get the job? Why? Ask Ms. Pelosi. Although Rep. Murtha has only been accused of corruption, Rep. Hastings has actually been convicted of high crimes and misdemeanors while a federal judge. Ms. Pelosi, in fact, voted in favor of his impeachment by the House in 1989.

Obviously, the U.S. “war on terror,” and intelligence gathering in general can benefit from Mr. Hastings personal experience regarding investigations. Or something like that. Anyway, he’ll no doubt play a pivotal role helping Ms. Pelosi to drain the swamp of Washington. Once he gets out of it, that is.

As for Ms. Pelosi herself? Well, let’s face it folks. She is only a Democrat. And she is only replacing a Republican. Either way, long after this Thanksgiving slips into an overfed memory, we need only look to our elected officials in Washington to be reminded once again that stuffing abounds, and turkeys rule the roost!