Keeping Christmas Safe
President Bush has decided to have himself a merry little Christmas, after all, and encourages people everywhere, regardless of their personal belief systems, to do the same.
Originally intending to make an important Iraq policy speech to the American people before Christmas, the president decided not to spoil the annual event with “war talk.”
A White House spokesperson rejected suggestions the president’s postponement was an effort to boost lagging Wal-Mart sales in the final, critical days before December 25th.
“President Bush rejects any notion of linkage between his recent lunch with Walton family members and his decision to put off discussing the Iraq situation until after the new year.” the spokesperson said.
Another source quoted the President as saying, “I am a decider, not a divider. I’ve decided not deciding right now will help prevent more dividing during these traditional shopping days. Christmas should be a time for people of all faiths to come together in celebration of the savior’s birth, not to mention those “after” sales events.”
During his luncheon with the Waltons and military Joint Chiefs, the president said, “The U.S. economy, and the world’s stability, depends on vigorous year-end American retailing. Everyone can strike a blow against terrorism right now by shopping early and often.”
Between courses, Mr. Bush was overheard saying, “Being a decider is hard. The American people have to understand that. I mean, what’s the point in screwing up the holidays? We cannot afford to cut and run from Christmas.”
U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice told reporters, “The president should take whatever time necessary to decide his next steps. He has many more holiday meals, and confusing Iraq information, yet to digest. Besides, I think he’s my secret Santa, and we’ve both got more shopping to do for each other, and for the American people.”
December 12th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
Really? Maybe I should view this, not with disbelief, but with gratitude that someone is keeping Christmas grounded in the issues that really matter.
December 13th, 2006 at 8:11 am
I think he wants the ISG to stop echoing before he announces that the new way forward is stay the course.
December 13th, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Farley,
Disbelief? Nay, my wine weathered friend.
You can count on the shopper-in-chief to keep Christmas boots on the ground.
Yes TC,
He’ll be staying the course this Christmas, and playing a course or two come spring.
Meantime, the world and my head will keep spinning, more people will die cause we’re winning, so keep up your holiday singing, and don’t ask for whom bells are ringing.
They take a toll on all of us.